So I know that I said that I would try to come on and post more often but life has taken over...or more so Logan has, and that hasn't left me much time for any computer work but paying bills. Logan is currently asleep and actually let me put him down in his bed so i decided that it was time to let you all know that we are still here.
Thursday was my first day of leaving Logan with someone OTHER then Dustin and away from home. Dustin had the day off of work so after going to Lawson and to Guild to show off our little guy we then dropped Logan off at his Grandma's house, Dustin's Mom Deb, and went out to see a movie. (By the way, I HIGHLY recommend seeing Alice in Wonderland 3D, it was great!) It was so hard to leave him there and even harder to not call every 5 minutes to see how he was doing. In the end Dustin and I were away from our little boy for 3 whole hours and I was very proud of myself, I didn't call once! I couldn't believe it. But once we got back to Deb's house before the truck was even in park I was out of it and quickly on my way up to the door. Turns out that everything was just fine. He had half a bottle, about 2.5 ounces of mommy's pumped milk, 1 diaper change, and then slept for the rest of the time.
It might sound easy to many of you to leave your baby that cries, wakes you up at night, and that you haven't really been away from, but it was SO HARD. But I keep telling myself that I have to go back to work in a month from this Monday and I need to get used to leaving my little guy. One thing I know for sure though, I WILL be calling Deb while I'm at work though to check up on Logan. I just miss him so much and I'll worry too much otherwise. It's not that I don't trust Deb with Logan, it's just that I don't like leaving my little guy is all and I worry about him even with Dustin because I can't see him and hear him.
On Monday Logan and I went to Robin's baby shower (Robin is related to my brother-in-law Rob, who married my sister Carlynn, who basically adopted me when I was a teenager so I'm pretty close with Rob's family). She asked me, "what has been the hardest thing so far?" Well I've been pondering this question ever since and here is my answer:
Top 3 hardest things in the hospital:
1. Being told that I have to rest and yet the nurses just kept coming in continually.
2. Being given two folders FULL of information that they expected me to read while in the hospital. I didn't even start trying to read it until I got home.
3. Though I love my family and Dustin's, it was hard having visitors as well. The only reason was because of all of the nurses coming in so I didn't get rest, I was learning to breast feed and so was Logan, so my boobs were ALWAYS out (you loose all modesty in the hospital), and then I had classes to attend and felt bad for saying that I needed people to leave so I could go to class.
*What I learned: Next time I will make a "Do Not Disturb: Resting" sign for my door and put up when I need to.
Top 3 hardest things at home:
1. No time to make food for myself. I need to eat and drink to keep my milk supply up, but yet, when am I supposed to eat? Either I'm feeding Logan, changing him, or holding him trying to get him to go to sleep or stay asleep (he hates being put down, even when sleeping). All of this makes it hard to find time to make food and then eat it.
2. Recently my neighbor playing LOUD music with LOUD bass and keeping me up and even waking Logan up. The thing is, I can't figure out which neighbor it is.
3. Those nights of hardly any sleep. There hasn't been many, but I have had some.
*What I learned: I need to have Dustin 'pack' me a lunch before he leaves for work that way I can eat real quick when Logan is put down for a few minutes or even while he's eating. Living in an apartment sucks. And soon Dustin will need to take over a night time feeding if Logan keeps waking up during the night once I go back to work.
I was looking at Logan the past couple of days and suddenly realized...He's gotten SO BIG. He's really filled out, but he's not chunky by all means. We actually had to take away all of his newborn clothes now and have him in 0-3 and 3 month outfits. Its unbelievable! I'll post pictures when I can, but for now, Logan is starting to stir so I must say goodnight to you all.
