What's In A Name?

The most popular question I have gotten during my pregnancy is either “How far are you?”, “When are you due?”, or “How much longer?” I will answer this for you…I’m 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I’m due February 14th, 2010, and I only have 24 days left until I’m due!

Next is: “Do you know what you’re having?” My answer: A Baby Boy!

This is ALWAYS followed by: “What are you going to name him?” This is the question that I cannot answer. My response is always that we are going to wait to meet our little boy to see who he is. We have a few names picked out that we like, but he might not even end up with one of those names. We just need to see who he is first. He’ll let us know what his name is when he comes.

You see, I can’t in good faith name my son before I’ve even met him and Dustin feels the same way. Where we get this from is first from Dustin’s side of the family. You see, Deb, Dustin’s mom, was told that she was going to be having a girl when she was pregnant with Dustin. So she only had girl names picked out when he arrived. Well, obviously none of those names would work out! So Dustin was then named after his biological father Tim…for a few days Dustin’s name was Tim JR. Deb said no to that one and there was another ‘D’ name in the family…DUSTIN! (Dustin’s name changed again later when his father Todd adopted him, but this time just his last name). When Dustin’s brother, Jeremy, was born Deb and Todd had a few names picked out, but after getting to know him and meeting him, none of those names fit him. But then the name Jeremy was there, which did fit. So these were lessons to us not to completely name our little boy before meeting him.

A lesson that I learned, that Dustin still doesn’t understand, is teasing using a person’s name. I was teased my whole life because of my name. I’m sure it didn’t help though that I was shy and awkward, that I dressed in clothes that were hand me downs from boys, and that I was always withdrawn. But still, because people used my name against me, I hated my name. I really did. I wished for any other name in the world, but of course I couldn’t do anything about it. I always loved the fact that others could shorten their names and have nicknames, me, I was always just HOPE; at home though I was Hopey. When I was a kid I liked it, not as much now. I guess that’s because I finally came to appreciate my name late in High School. It just became an irony to me. Growing up I hated my name because I was made fun of because of it. When I grew up, left my abusive mother’s house and moved in with my sister; I loved my name, after a short while that is. It took on a new meaning for me; it took on the meaning of HOPE, not just my name, but also the word. I wasn’t just Hope, but I had hope as well, hope for a brighter and better future for myself.

Now I know that my son won’t go through what I did, I know that I will be a much better mother then what mine was. But I know that children are still mean and will still make fun of a person’s name. So I still fear for him in the name department. I want to try my best not to have his name be one that is easily made fun of. But I also don’t want him to be lost in the crowd. I remember how many Sara, Sarah, Amanda, and Katie’s there were, and how many Matt, Nick, Peter, Mike’s there were in my classes growing up. There were always forced to use their last name of initial. I don’t want our little boy to have that either. That is if we can prevent it.

So when we have thought of names, be them for girls or boys, I have always asked myself: “What are the common baby names right now?” and “How can I make fun of this name?” When we were thinking that we were going to have a girl I kept coming up with names that started with the letter ‘D’…Dustin kept shutting them down though. He said there are too many ‘D’s’ in the family already (at least 14 that I can count on the top of my head). I kept trying for non-‘D’ names but I couldn’t get one, other then Isabella, but it was too common of a name for me right now. We finally settled on two girl names: Tabitha Pearl and Delilah Mona (Lilah). We got the middle names from family members as I’m a strong believer in having a middle name mean something or be after someone. Pearl would have been for my Great-Grandmother and Mona would have been for Dustin’s Grandma.

When thinking of boy names we’ve had a bit easier time though. It was just one day I spit out two names and Dustin liked them. Over time we’ve added two more names to the mix though as well. So far we have Nathaniel LeRoy, Cole LeRoy (LeRoy after my Great-Grandfather), Logan Todd, and Tristan Todd (Todd after Dustin’s Dad). We never know though, our little boy might not end up with any of these names; we’ll just have to wait and see what he tells us.

On the note of him telling us what his name is. I believe that he has already put in his two cents…a few dozen times. You see, I’ve been having a recurring dream for several months that a little boy runs up to me and starts screaming “MY NAME IS COLE! CALL ME COLE!” and then runs away to go play again. I told Dustin this dream and he says he’s not sure about the name, but that’s how that name entered the running.

Dustin’s vote, along with Deb’s, is for Logan. Deb says it’s because it’s the one she can remember. Dustin says it’s to name him after Wolverine from the X-Men… I must say, Hugh Jackman was pretty hot in those movies, and a great actor too! I thought of the name because of Gilmore Girls, one of the shows I grew up with in High School.

Tristan just kind of came to me one day out of the blue. And Nathaniel, Nate, I’m not sure where it came from. All I know is that I liked it.

So what is in a name? A lot of thought! Your name because your identity, sure your personality is as well, but you don’t hear people calling out, “HAPPY, FUN LOVING! COME HERE!” You here them say “Mark, Jane, Sue, John. Come here!” A name can be your guide, or it can be a torture instrument (I HOPE you have a good day today – There is HOPE today, over and over and over everyday 50 times a day). It’s one of the first things you do after your child is born, you call them by their name, and that’s it. That is their name for life.

To all of you that don’t know what we are naming Baby S…don’t worry your not alone. It’s a mystery even to us!