So back in this post I said that there are three different days with Logan and his care givers and I wasn't sure which days would be the best for me. Well we have gone through all three a few times now and here we go...
Day 1: Dustin is home all day with Logan because it is his day off of work. This means that Dustin is available to help me get Logan ready for the day and get myself ready as well. He is able to take care of and entertain Logan while Mommy gets ready and able to do the diaper changes after I feed Logan. Then when I get off of work I can just go straight home...or if the need arises do a little bit of running of errands for the family before I get home (though I try not to do this and just go straight home so I can see the family and feed Logan).
Day 2: Dustin is home in the morning because he works from 12:00pm until 10:00pm. Dustin is able to do all of the above morning help with Logan. He then drops Logan off at his mom's house so she can care for Logan until I come and pick him up after work. Then Logan and I have the whole evening together...alone.
Day 3: Dustin has to be at work at 6:30am...so no morning help from him since he leaves at 6:00am. I get Logan ready for the day, fed, changed, myself ready for work, fed and ...well not changed, but you get it. Then I drop him off at Dustin's cousin Mindy's house so she can watch Logan until Deb gets off of work and picks Logan up around 9:30am. I then pick Logan up from Deb's after I get off of work (though once I go back to work full time it will be Dustin picking Logan up on these days). We then go home and wait for Daddy to get home around 4:30pm and then spend the night together as a family.
Now as you might guess I have these days in order of ease...Day 1 being the easiest and day 3 being the hardest. You can see why right away, I have help on day 1 and 2 from Dustin in the morning vs. day 3 I don't. But the other thing is, even though I trust Mindy completely and am very grateful to her for watching Logan and it's nothing against her...it's just so hard to drop him off some place and then leave. It really is. The other day as I left Mindy's Logan looked at me from his seat like "Mommy, where are you going? You're forgetting me!" I swear I nearly cried in the car on the way to work thinking about that face. It was just so hard. But leaving him with Dustin is easier...he's Daddy, he doesn't mind (as much) when he's left with Daddy, he's normally sleeping even.
As to being back at work: I’m getting used to it and back into the swing of things. I have my days where I am tired from all of Logan’s ‘awakeness’ at night and the night time feedings. On those days I might be a little be crabbier or grouchy because I’m running on E…or even below. I try to keep my life separate from work, but these are days that it’s just impossible. My home life is number one for me, but I need to work in order to support my life at home.
I’ve had issues in the past with one of my co-workers, but I am making a resolution to myself that I will try, at least on my end, to make things work and just be better between us. There is only so much that I can do, but I will definitely do my part and try with this person. The environment with this person feels like a very passive aggressive one and I feel like I have to walk on egg shells as the saying goes around said person. I don’t want that in my life, so I want to do my part to try and make it better. But at the moment when something comes up I just think to myself: "I'm only here part time right now! This is defiantly bearable."
On the up side of work: I’m able to have a little bit of adult time. I'm able to get some stuff done that I normally am not able to get done with Logan around. I'm able to focus on some computer stuff instead of house work. I'm able to have scheduled times to eat and take a breath. I'm able to appreciate my time with Logan just that much more once I'm with him.
As to the job interview: I didn't get the job. I found out from my sources that there were A LOT of people that interviewed for the position and many people that had experience in it before (even though they seemed to be asking for those without experience). This doesn't mean that I'm going to give up on trying to move up from my current position. I will see what is out there, or even what there is internally, and apply and keep applying. I will also see what I can do personally to try to add to my resume so I can give myself more of an opportunity to move up as well.
My new way of looking at life...or not new just renewed...is to find the positives in everything. You need to when there is so much going on. Can I find the positives in Logan screaming for seemingly no reason? Not that I can think of. But can I find the positives in not getting the other job? Yes. For one, this way I don't have to give-up any of the time that I'm only working part time. Also, the job was about 15-30 minutes further from home.
So my task for all of you today is...When something gets you down, try to think of at least two positive things that can come from it.
Disclaimer: All views are those of mine alone and not those of the company in which I work. I intentionally keep the name of my company hidden on this blog as to not reflect negatively on them. All names of those in which I work with are kept hidden as well as to not hinder their character later in life. These are my views and my views and feelings alone and not those of others.
I use this blog not as that to advance me in life but instead as that to stay connected with friends and family near and far, please remember this while reading my blog. This is because the life of being a working mother keeps me busy to the point of being disconnected with those that I love and usually socialize with.
This Blog is not ment for the purpose of work, but for that of a personal journal of events that I share about mine, my husbands, and my son’s life with those that we love and of course those that invite us into their lives through their blog and want to be apart of ours in our blog. Parts of those events are work events. My own vents are not here in order for others to see and use to judge those that are vented about, be them people that either I or my husband work with, family, or friends.
Please remember that I am a new mother and with that comes stress over and above the stress of normal everyday life. If you have not been a new mother (or father) then these stresses are ones that you don’t understand. This is a way for me to control that stress and not have it come out side ways at those it is intended for or not intended for.
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